I was never really great at perspective during my time at art school. I began to get the hang of it when it came to the human form; when it came to firm, straight lines I could never seem to get it right. My brain would grasp it and process it but my hands would translate the image always to be slightly off. As we age and experience different life events, our mind and heart process our emotions, reactions, and perception much differently.
It’s been two months since my last post. Normally, I would be guilt ridden, feeling as if I’ve failed or let you down. To be honest, I’ve been battling some major health issues and for what I feel is the first time in my life, I’ve not cared what anyone else has thought, and I have just taken care of myself. I’ve been called selfish and I’ve been given a whole lot of guilt. Depending on where you stand, I could perhaps see how that could be the case.
From my perspective….
I’m a month before my thirtieth birthday. If I had not caught my illness as early as I did, things could be very, very different. I’m lucky. I’m grateful everyday. When the wheels and gears start turning and you think, “What if this was 6 months later or a year later, what would I do? What would I regret not doing?” While you can’t predict the future, when you are posed with these kinds of questions in a very real sense (not the hypothetical, if you were stuck on an island, what are three things you’d bring with you?) things begin to slide into a very natural scale of what’s really important and what doesn’t really matter.
So while I did miss writing and crafting, and while these things are very important to me, I’ve been taking care of myself. I’m almost back to 100%. I’m hoping to be deemed A-OK by my 30th birthday and with that, I intend to live life a little bit differently than I have been. Between the wake up call and the stack of self-help books next to my bedside, I’m ready. I’ve found a much different perspective and I’m liking the view.
Listen to your body, take care of yourself, love yourself, and really live your life.